Burglary of Motor Vehicle / Criminal Mischief / Evading: A UT police officer discovered a non-UT subject attempting to gain entrance into a red Dodge truck that was parked on the 3rd level of the garage. When the suspect saw the officer, he took off running. According to several witnesses, the suspect used “cat-like reflexes” and jumped from the 2nd level to the ground level and continued running. With the speed of a gazelle, the officer gave chase and was able to take the suspect into custody. During the investigation, the officer soon learned that the suspect had burglarized a tan Kia and had removed an iPod mini. The suspect was charged with Burglary of Motor Vehicle / Criminal Mischief / Evading after being transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 7-29-08, at 9:30 AM.

Driving While Intoxicated / Evading / Public Intoxication: A UT police officer discovered two non-UT subjects inside an illegally parked vehicle.  The officer told both subjects to make themselves appropriately attired prior to exiting the vehicle.  The officer then observed the non-UT female subject exit the vehicle and run in the direction of Waller Creek.  The subject apparently attempted to make the US Olympic swim team, by diving head first into Waller Creek.  Two breath strokes later, she emerged onto the other side, into the awaiting police officer.  The officer noted that the subject had a very strong odor of alcohol on her breath. The subject was taken into custody for Public Intoxication and Evading.

Thanks Katie for the heads up.

It has certainly been awhile UT(4)D, but hello again. It is nice to see you.
Amidst finals, packing, interning, and missing Austin entirely too much, it
seems time has gotten away from me.

That being said, this post may be a little dated, but is something I have
wanted to throw out there for a good while now.

After the death of a Sigma Alpha Epsilon pledge in 2006, the fraternity and
its hazing policies have been under investigation. Eventually, in late April
the fraternity and UT reached an agreement that allows for the organization
to continue to be recognized by the university, yet changes the pledging
process and regulates social activities.

Four members of the fraternity have also been charged with misdemeanor
hazing.

The agreement reached between the university and the fraternity has been
criticized by - well, it has been criticized by me; but hear me out.

The agreement bans hazing. Genius. I am glad that UT has reached an
agreement based on banning hazing when that has been a rule for many years
now.

Ouch, you don’t want to slap anyone’s wrist too hard, now do you?

The charges made against the fraternity members have also been criticized. The
widely accepted notion is that all fraternities haze and that these guys are
being made an example. Well, yes, they are setting an example (another point
reached in the agreement to ‘lead other UT fraternities in making similar
changes’) of what could happen when excessive hazing is involved in social
organizations. Yes, it happens throughout campus, but this organization was
doing especially bad things, things that may or may not be done elsewhere on
campus, and they got caught because someone died.

As I write this, I can’t help but remember the Duke lacrosse case, and the
critics across the country that cried ‘foul play’. They dismissed the ordeal
as an overaggressive prosecutor going after upper class white men – and, by
all accounts, he was. The fundamental difference, however, is that their
case was brought about by heresy.  On these here 40 Acres, though, it is a
situation of facts, which were in fact conceded by the accused parties.  These
young men did something wrong, they
got caught (again, I stress, because someone died), and now, they pay the
price.  Whether or not they were made to be scapegoats is largely
irrelevant.

This is not an example being made out of innocent people. UT should look
over that agreement once more, and strive to set an example themselves. Allowing the
organization to remain on campus because they agreed stop hazing, when they
were well aware of its illegality in the first place? Very noble indeed.

Perhaps they should set an example that demonstrates that hazing of this
magnitude will not be permitted with punishment equal to a bit more than a
‘time out’

Apartment and dorm grocery shopping sucks, any way you look at it. Going to the store means choosing between the huge SavingsCo., maneuvering through a sea of hippies and hipsters at Whole Mart or HEB, which is packed even on Monday afternoons. Then 50 pounds of groceries must be carted up anywhere from one to five flights of stairs.

In my quest for both easier and more environmental shopping I finally remembered to bring tote bags to the store today. The checkout line is where problems happened, because cashiers aren’t used to totes yet and I felt like a jerk while it took the lady three times longer to bag everything. Plastic is easier, but it’s just so bad for Al Gore and the earth.

Bringing totes that are all about the same size as plastic bags can make this easier. WalMart sells pretty simple bags for a dollar each, as does HEB. Central Market and Whole Foods have bigger, pricier bags but they are great for smaller grocery trips. And three flights of stairs? Way easier with totes.

If you’re still stuck on plastic, IKEA sells a bag holder/recycler for $1.

Realtors show you that magic apartment, and your eyes put on their jogging glasses and sprint across the lease contract until that final signature and date input line, where the most jagged, incomprehensible blurb of name is etched onto parchment.

Then you and your roommate(s) move in, and start, or end up, to hate one another.

These are some tips/legal things you skipped/need to know:

TIP: Never put your name under the utilities/electric bill. Cable is okay because you can cancel at any time and leave the place a reasonable environment (step 1: take modem, step 2: turn it in). The other is far more complicated to cancel or switch names for, and you don’t want a bill under your name eroding into some bad credit on your wonderful colleagues’ behalf.

LEGAL FACTS:

• Make sure to distinguish between an “application fee” and an “application deposit.” The fee is non-refundable, so better make sure you got the place secured before you throw away that money.
• Landlords are not required by law to fix minor repairs, as in repairs that don’t endanger health or safety. Inspect, inspect, inspect.
• If the landlord does not repair a major problem after a second written notice, there are a few choices:
  • have it repaired and let it be deducted from your rent.
  • sue (many Texas lawyers are dying to meet you).
  • move on out.
• The landlord can only lock a tenant out or change the locks after notification and if rent is past due.
• Subleasing behind the landlord’s back is cause for eviction and legal action.
• The security deposit cannot be kept for simple “wear and tear;” in other words, a carpet that has an imprint from furniture, or carpet that is slightly worn cannot be considered damage.

Happy moving, and choose roomies wisely.

Ah, graduation…

the memories,

the gifts,

the remarkably expensive polyester gowns…

Yes, tonight (much like some species of bird) we shove an entire class of longhorns off the cliff that rises above work life, forcing them into the “Real World” ( a phrase that no longer refers to an MTV reality show).

For those of us still left in the trenches of a university education. I offer a solution to panicked stricken friends: the friendly social get together known as the graduation partay

TIPS for a successful celebration:

1. Libations (they will make all of the following tips EVEN better… duh)

2. Hilarious old pics of everyone peacing out. (naturally the more awful/and/or/hilarious the better)

3. An extensive playlists of songs para baliar. (include those that everyone knows but won’t admit to knowing…)

4. Toasts and tacky graduation garb (for the pics sake)

Any other things I missed?

CONGRADULATIONS LONGHORNS!

Once upon a time, Alanis Morissette sang about ironic things.

It wasn’t anyone we know’s wedding day, but last night, some companions of mine and I visited the Elephant Room, which, if you don’t know, is located in a basement cellar and has live jazz every single night of the week.

We arrived around 10 p.m. We left around 1 a.m. Basically, the world looked like some Will Smith/ I Am Legend shit when we got out. We were buzzed and confused. And it looked like the trees of Austin threw up everywhere.

Which brings me to my next point. We were safe drinking away at a jazz bar in a basement during a “tornado.”

Isn’t it ironic? Don’t you think?

I have posted a picture of some of my apt. damage to our lovely Flickr (let us know if you want to submit yours for display).

Elephant Room: the place to booze during inclement weather.

Don’t get too excited, because we’re just talking about cardboard boxes.

A little trip to the Co-op the other day alerted UTDummies and the rest of the hopeless and migrant student population that our Longhorn-brand-selling-amigos were charging almost $3 for one cardboard box.

Additionally, a virtual trip to craigslist alerted UTDummies that everyone is freaking out and needs boxes.

So where to go to get sturdy, nice boxes for free, and with endless supply? The liquor store.

Why, we visited Centennial on Guadalupe and 30th just yesterday, and the nice man was just begging us to take away his boxes bearing the lovely names of “Wild Turkey,” “Buffalo Trace,” and “Captain Morgan”–all of our good friends.

This website has a list of liquor stores in Austin. Just remember, you went for the boxes.

To stay undercover, we video-ed from a point-and-shoot (hence the side view); however, it didn’t stop merry E-Bus riders from getting suspicious about the camera. Here’s the story.

Someone isn’t taking finals well.

While job opportunities abound on university sites like hirealonghorn.org and accessUT, this dummie decided to hit up the Austin job market old school style and took the hunt to the streets.

Some revelations/awkward highlights:

1. Group Interviewing. Thoughts: weird; There is nothing like a group of five girls bying to answer the same questions better than each other…. especially in the middle of a store….. during operational hours…. yeah…

2. Cover letters. Thoughts: good requirement for career oriented jobs; bad requirement for coffee shops, unless you feel called to all things caffeinated.

The job hunt resumes tomorrow. Tips welcomed. Encouragement needed.

When my fellow comrades and I began this outrageous concoction of UT pop culture, we decided on the name “UT for Dummies” without thinking that, oh shit, we are violating copyright law.

Thus, we were presented with a choice.

a) We pay the “For Dummies” publishing company money to license the name, and thus have that stupid little triangular man with jagged hair put on our site.

(<–That’s him and the book we should have read)

or, option b) We change the name to something similar and not copyrighted.

Therefore, you have been REDIRECTED to UTdummies.com until our illegal property dies from malnutrition. Doesn’t this site look familiar and legal?

We’ve packed our bags. Spring cleaning is done, and we aren’t getting sued.

1) Isn’t she contemplating that “porn” a little too hard?

2) Does this girl know she is in this ad?

If to you, East Austin means riding the Disch-Falk bus, then there’s definitely a part of this fine city that you need to explore more.  The old businesses and diverse groups of people on the east side are a refreshing change from the on-campus lifestyle.

There are also a lot of social and cultural changes going on over there, including gentrification.  East Becomes Central is a website worth checking out to…you know… learn stuff.